The Other Tarot
Feb. 5th, 2007 03:35 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
gwynhefarThis is long. I saw it posted to another list and just had to pass it on:
"The 'Other Tarot'
By: Author Unknown
Posted: September 1st/00
Neo-pagan religions can be fun, but some pagans
unfortunately go through a period of religious
fanaticism. And fanaticism often limits an important
part of your spirit: your sense of humor. It takes
time to recover from fanaticism. Now there is a Tarot
deck for recovering pagan religious fanatics.
The Neophyte - A priest and priestess stand facing one
another, performing the Great Rite symbolically by
plunging a dagger into a chalice. In the circle
surrounding them, a neophyte covers her smiling mouth,
trying to suppress a giggle.
Divinatory Meaning - Innocence. A new beginning. There
was a time when all of this was good-natured fun and
not something you took so seriously.
Reversed Meaning - Difficulty in expressing honest
laughter. You're taking this all too seriously. Get a
life.
The Magician - The magician stands outside his
double-parked car in a jammed parking lot. He wears
full ceremonial regalia and has an altar setup. In his
hand is an open book entitled, "Incantations to
Asphaltia to find parking spaces."
Divinatory Meaning - You need to understand your own
resources better. Don't use a sledgehammer to knock on
a door.
Reversed Meaning - You have lost sight that the map is
not the territory.
The High Priestess - A Wiccan priestess stands, arms
outstretched, wearing several pounds worth of
pentacles, Celtic jewelry, astrological bracelets, and
medallions. She looks ready to tip over.
Divinatory Meaning - You may find yourself with sudden
yearnings to join a Roman Catholic convent or
seminary. Even if you're most definitely not Catholic.
Don't scoff. Stranger things have happened.
Reversed Meaning - You are ready to liberate yourself
from the shackles of your old way of life and to put
on the shackles of a new way of life.
The Nature Lover? - In the middle of the woods stands
a pagan with her face caked in rouge and eye shadow
and lipstick. She holds up a symbol of nature - a
miniature plastic tree.
Divinatory Meaning - Examine that what you claim is
your passion is something that you're really
passionate about.
Reversed meaning - You are secretly a technocrat.
The Emporium - A pagan bookstore owner stands behind a
counter in a bookstore jam-packed with books,
pentacles, candles, Celtic jewelry, Tarot decks, etc.
Behind him a sign reads, "Pagan Emporium Bookstore:
Offering Ancient Wisdom Since 1995."
Divinatory Meaning - Don't just settle for "Question
authority." Question those who claim to be authority.
Reversed Meaning - Question those authors who tell you
to question authority, but then still want you to buy
their books and follow their advice verbatim.
Grand High Muckety-Muck - A solemn Wiccan priest
stands before an altar holding an athame. Hanging on
the wall behind him is a certificate that reads,
"Certified Wiccan initiate. Certificate granted by
Walt's Wild Warehouse of Wicca."
Divinatory Meaning - Don't get distracted by
initiations, titles, special abilities, etc. Focus
instead on what capabilities you really need to live
your life.
Reversed Meaning - You have an insatiable desire to
get initiated. Consider joining either the Fraternal
Order of the Hedgehogs or else the Order of the
Co-Hedgehogs and get this whole initiation business
out of your system.
The Lovers - A young couple are having a handfasting
performed in a grove of oak trees on a sunny summer
afternoon.
Divinatory meaning - Don't get too cynical. You may be
recovering from fanaticism, but keep in mind that good
things can sometimes still happen in the religion.
Reversed Meaning - All you really need is love. And if
you don't want to follow that advice, well, then, hey,
the song by the same name is still cool.
The Broom - A teenage Goth witch runs down the
sidewalk attempting to ride a battered broomstick. A
cleaning lady with a dustpan in one hand chases after
her, hoping to retrieve her stolen broom.
Divinatory Meaning - You need to develop a better
relationship with what occultists begrudgingly refer
to as "the Mundane World."
Reversed Meaning - Maybe you really are a boring
person after all. Time to clean up your act.
The Hungry Vegetarian - There's a long buffet table at
a wedding banquet. Whole roast pig, roast duck, baked
chicken, glazed turkey, and carved ham fill the buffet
table. One teeny tiny carrot resides on the plate of
the hungry vegetarian. She eyes the roast pig, perhaps
wondering if it might be made out of tofu rather than
meat.
Divinatory meaning - Time to change your habits.
Reversed Meaning - Go eat a hot dog on a Friday.
The Hermit - The Hermit wears a dark gray robe and has
a dark gray beard. He holds a gnarled staff in one
hand and a blazing lantern in the other hand. He is
doing this however in a crowded movie theater, and the
theater patrons scowl at him.
Divinatory Meaning - Don't just trust yourself. Learn
what part of yourself to trust.
Reversed Meaning - It is better to have something you
believe in rather than to just knock down what you
don't believe in.
The Wheel Of Fortune - A pagan dressed in purple and
yellow robes holds a stick of incense in one hand and
a compass in the other hand. He glares at the compass.
The needlepoint is spinning wildly, so that he can'
tell which direction is east for quarter-calling.
Divinatory Meaning - Don't just find a new direction -
create a new direction.
Reversed Meaning - When you think your life is moving
somewhere, maybe you're just going in circles.
The Skeptic - A blindfolded man stands facing a
full-length mirror.
Divinatory Meaning - You may say that there is nothing
of value in divinatory tools. But divinatory tools are
nothing more than a means of looking at yourself. So
perhaps you are saying that there is nothing of value
in yourself. A man who swallows a placebo cannot deny
his own mouth.
Reversed Meaning - You will see through the illusions
created by others. Be on guard against becoming
snotty. Be careful that you do not forget that even
illusions have their value. A man who imagines roses
in the clouds can be inspired to become a gardener...
Temperance - In a candle lit room, a Hermeticist holds
a rosy cross in his left hand and a pentacle in the
right hand. To his left side is a host of symbols of
crosses and grails. To his right side is a host of
daggers and pentacles. Behind him, a window with the
shades drawn is open a crack to reveal a hint of
sunlight and the wide-open outdoors.
Divinatory Meaning - You need to open yourself up to
more than what you currently allow yourself to
experience.
Reversed Meaning - You are a freak. Perhaps you should
spend more time secluded from others so that others do
not discover this.
The Adversary - The scene is two booths set up at a
psychic fair - each booth manned by a practitioner.
The first booth has a big sign over it, "Pagan
Shamanistic Journeying Counseling." The practitioner
of this booth glares at the practitioner of the second
booth. The sign over the second booth reads, "New Age
Shamanistic Journeying Counseling."
Divinatory Meaning - There are things that you dislike
that are more similar to you than you care to admit.
Reversed Meaning - Stock market analysts and weather
forecasters often give pretty lousy predictions. Don't
expect a fortune-teller to give perfect predictions,
but don't look too harshly upon them either. They are
trying to get you to understand yourself - and while
they may be dead wrong on some of what they say, the
need to understand yourself is real.
The Tower of Books - An armchair magician has a den
jammed full of occult books. In one armchair is a huge
stack of books almost up to the ceiling. He stands on
a stool trying to add yet another book to the top of
the stack, ignorant of the fact that the tower is
about ready to topple over on him.
Divinatory Meaning - You need to learn to put your
ideas into action.
Reversed Meaning - Clean your room.
The Celebrity - In an occult bookstore, a pagan
celebrity sits at a book signing table, signing copies
of her book, "Witchcrap for Morons." A few feet away
from the table, a group of neo-pagans are scowling and
turning their nose up at the author.
Divinatory Meaning - It is far easier for you to
condemn what others create than it is for you to
create something that you find to be of value. But you
really need to learn to trust your own creative
projects more.
Reversed Meaning - Quit spending so much time in
occult bookstores.
The Moon - A pagan painter stands by a moonlit window
as he paints a picture of the crescent moon. The
depiction of the moon is very well crafted, but then
the painter is going back in and adding some crudely
designed pentacles on the moon, lest you forget that
this is supposed to be pagan art. Behind him, his two
dogs bark fiercely.
Divinatory Meaning - If you can let go of your
pretentiousness, your talents can blossom.
Reversed Meaning - Don't forget to feed your dogs.
The Golden Apple - Three pagan women stand wrestling
over who gets the Golden Apple. Behind them,
unnoticed, stands a giggling Eris, who holds an entire
basket of Golden Apples.
Divinatory Meaning - Keep your perspective on what's
really important.
Reversed Meaning - In order to allow a god or goddess
room into your heart, you must not be too full of
yourself.
Judgment by Conspiracy Theorists - A fundamentalist
minister rallies against a pagan group. The minister
conjures up images of animal sacrifice and human
sacrifice. Meanwhile, the pagan group in question is
sitting around in a committee meeting eating vegan
chili and tofu.
Divinatory Meaning - You need to get on with your life
and worry less about what other people think.
Reversed Meaning - You need to get on with your life
and worry less about what other people think. On the
other hand, this doesn't give you license to be an
a***hole.
The World in a Pack of Cards - A grungy prisoner in
solitary confinement sits in a barren cell. No bed, no
food, no sunlight, just a pack of Tarot cards in front
of him. A 19th century occultist once said that a
prisoner alone in a prison cell with nothing but a
pack of Tarot cards would acquire all world knowledge.
But, well, this prisoner could probably better use
some food and some sunlight and a shower.
Divinatory Meaning - Get a hobby.
Reversed Meaning - No, really, get a hobby."
"The 'Other Tarot'
By: Author Unknown
Posted: September 1st/00
Neo-pagan religions can be fun, but some pagans
unfortunately go through a period of religious
fanaticism. And fanaticism often limits an important
part of your spirit: your sense of humor. It takes
time to recover from fanaticism. Now there is a Tarot
deck for recovering pagan religious fanatics.
The Neophyte - A priest and priestess stand facing one
another, performing the Great Rite symbolically by
plunging a dagger into a chalice. In the circle
surrounding them, a neophyte covers her smiling mouth,
trying to suppress a giggle.
Divinatory Meaning - Innocence. A new beginning. There
was a time when all of this was good-natured fun and
not something you took so seriously.
Reversed Meaning - Difficulty in expressing honest
laughter. You're taking this all too seriously. Get a
life.
The Magician - The magician stands outside his
double-parked car in a jammed parking lot. He wears
full ceremonial regalia and has an altar setup. In his
hand is an open book entitled, "Incantations to
Asphaltia to find parking spaces."
Divinatory Meaning - You need to understand your own
resources better. Don't use a sledgehammer to knock on
a door.
Reversed Meaning - You have lost sight that the map is
not the territory.
The High Priestess - A Wiccan priestess stands, arms
outstretched, wearing several pounds worth of
pentacles, Celtic jewelry, astrological bracelets, and
medallions. She looks ready to tip over.
Divinatory Meaning - You may find yourself with sudden
yearnings to join a Roman Catholic convent or
seminary. Even if you're most definitely not Catholic.
Don't scoff. Stranger things have happened.
Reversed Meaning - You are ready to liberate yourself
from the shackles of your old way of life and to put
on the shackles of a new way of life.
The Nature Lover? - In the middle of the woods stands
a pagan with her face caked in rouge and eye shadow
and lipstick. She holds up a symbol of nature - a
miniature plastic tree.
Divinatory Meaning - Examine that what you claim is
your passion is something that you're really
passionate about.
Reversed meaning - You are secretly a technocrat.
The Emporium - A pagan bookstore owner stands behind a
counter in a bookstore jam-packed with books,
pentacles, candles, Celtic jewelry, Tarot decks, etc.
Behind him a sign reads, "Pagan Emporium Bookstore:
Offering Ancient Wisdom Since 1995."
Divinatory Meaning - Don't just settle for "Question
authority." Question those who claim to be authority.
Reversed Meaning - Question those authors who tell you
to question authority, but then still want you to buy
their books and follow their advice verbatim.
Grand High Muckety-Muck - A solemn Wiccan priest
stands before an altar holding an athame. Hanging on
the wall behind him is a certificate that reads,
"Certified Wiccan initiate. Certificate granted by
Walt's Wild Warehouse of Wicca."
Divinatory Meaning - Don't get distracted by
initiations, titles, special abilities, etc. Focus
instead on what capabilities you really need to live
your life.
Reversed Meaning - You have an insatiable desire to
get initiated. Consider joining either the Fraternal
Order of the Hedgehogs or else the Order of the
Co-Hedgehogs and get this whole initiation business
out of your system.
The Lovers - A young couple are having a handfasting
performed in a grove of oak trees on a sunny summer
afternoon.
Divinatory meaning - Don't get too cynical. You may be
recovering from fanaticism, but keep in mind that good
things can sometimes still happen in the religion.
Reversed Meaning - All you really need is love. And if
you don't want to follow that advice, well, then, hey,
the song by the same name is still cool.
The Broom - A teenage Goth witch runs down the
sidewalk attempting to ride a battered broomstick. A
cleaning lady with a dustpan in one hand chases after
her, hoping to retrieve her stolen broom.
Divinatory Meaning - You need to develop a better
relationship with what occultists begrudgingly refer
to as "the Mundane World."
Reversed Meaning - Maybe you really are a boring
person after all. Time to clean up your act.
The Hungry Vegetarian - There's a long buffet table at
a wedding banquet. Whole roast pig, roast duck, baked
chicken, glazed turkey, and carved ham fill the buffet
table. One teeny tiny carrot resides on the plate of
the hungry vegetarian. She eyes the roast pig, perhaps
wondering if it might be made out of tofu rather than
meat.
Divinatory meaning - Time to change your habits.
Reversed Meaning - Go eat a hot dog on a Friday.
The Hermit - The Hermit wears a dark gray robe and has
a dark gray beard. He holds a gnarled staff in one
hand and a blazing lantern in the other hand. He is
doing this however in a crowded movie theater, and the
theater patrons scowl at him.
Divinatory Meaning - Don't just trust yourself. Learn
what part of yourself to trust.
Reversed Meaning - It is better to have something you
believe in rather than to just knock down what you
don't believe in.
The Wheel Of Fortune - A pagan dressed in purple and
yellow robes holds a stick of incense in one hand and
a compass in the other hand. He glares at the compass.
The needlepoint is spinning wildly, so that he can'
tell which direction is east for quarter-calling.
Divinatory Meaning - Don't just find a new direction -
create a new direction.
Reversed Meaning - When you think your life is moving
somewhere, maybe you're just going in circles.
The Skeptic - A blindfolded man stands facing a
full-length mirror.
Divinatory Meaning - You may say that there is nothing
of value in divinatory tools. But divinatory tools are
nothing more than a means of looking at yourself. So
perhaps you are saying that there is nothing of value
in yourself. A man who swallows a placebo cannot deny
his own mouth.
Reversed Meaning - You will see through the illusions
created by others. Be on guard against becoming
snotty. Be careful that you do not forget that even
illusions have their value. A man who imagines roses
in the clouds can be inspired to become a gardener...
Temperance - In a candle lit room, a Hermeticist holds
a rosy cross in his left hand and a pentacle in the
right hand. To his left side is a host of symbols of
crosses and grails. To his right side is a host of
daggers and pentacles. Behind him, a window with the
shades drawn is open a crack to reveal a hint of
sunlight and the wide-open outdoors.
Divinatory Meaning - You need to open yourself up to
more than what you currently allow yourself to
experience.
Reversed Meaning - You are a freak. Perhaps you should
spend more time secluded from others so that others do
not discover this.
The Adversary - The scene is two booths set up at a
psychic fair - each booth manned by a practitioner.
The first booth has a big sign over it, "Pagan
Shamanistic Journeying Counseling." The practitioner
of this booth glares at the practitioner of the second
booth. The sign over the second booth reads, "New Age
Shamanistic Journeying Counseling."
Divinatory Meaning - There are things that you dislike
that are more similar to you than you care to admit.
Reversed Meaning - Stock market analysts and weather
forecasters often give pretty lousy predictions. Don't
expect a fortune-teller to give perfect predictions,
but don't look too harshly upon them either. They are
trying to get you to understand yourself - and while
they may be dead wrong on some of what they say, the
need to understand yourself is real.
The Tower of Books - An armchair magician has a den
jammed full of occult books. In one armchair is a huge
stack of books almost up to the ceiling. He stands on
a stool trying to add yet another book to the top of
the stack, ignorant of the fact that the tower is
about ready to topple over on him.
Divinatory Meaning - You need to learn to put your
ideas into action.
Reversed Meaning - Clean your room.
The Celebrity - In an occult bookstore, a pagan
celebrity sits at a book signing table, signing copies
of her book, "Witchcrap for Morons." A few feet away
from the table, a group of neo-pagans are scowling and
turning their nose up at the author.
Divinatory Meaning - It is far easier for you to
condemn what others create than it is for you to
create something that you find to be of value. But you
really need to learn to trust your own creative
projects more.
Reversed Meaning - Quit spending so much time in
occult bookstores.
The Moon - A pagan painter stands by a moonlit window
as he paints a picture of the crescent moon. The
depiction of the moon is very well crafted, but then
the painter is going back in and adding some crudely
designed pentacles on the moon, lest you forget that
this is supposed to be pagan art. Behind him, his two
dogs bark fiercely.
Divinatory Meaning - If you can let go of your
pretentiousness, your talents can blossom.
Reversed Meaning - Don't forget to feed your dogs.
The Golden Apple - Three pagan women stand wrestling
over who gets the Golden Apple. Behind them,
unnoticed, stands a giggling Eris, who holds an entire
basket of Golden Apples.
Divinatory Meaning - Keep your perspective on what's
really important.
Reversed Meaning - In order to allow a god or goddess
room into your heart, you must not be too full of
yourself.
Judgment by Conspiracy Theorists - A fundamentalist
minister rallies against a pagan group. The minister
conjures up images of animal sacrifice and human
sacrifice. Meanwhile, the pagan group in question is
sitting around in a committee meeting eating vegan
chili and tofu.
Divinatory Meaning - You need to get on with your life
and worry less about what other people think.
Reversed Meaning - You need to get on with your life
and worry less about what other people think. On the
other hand, this doesn't give you license to be an
a***hole.
The World in a Pack of Cards - A grungy prisoner in
solitary confinement sits in a barren cell. No bed, no
food, no sunlight, just a pack of Tarot cards in front
of him. A 19th century occultist once said that a
prisoner alone in a prison cell with nothing but a
pack of Tarot cards would acquire all world knowledge.
But, well, this prisoner could probably better use
some food and some sunlight and a shower.
Divinatory Meaning - Get a hobby.
Reversed Meaning - No, really, get a hobby."
