(no subject)

[gwynhefar]

"I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived."

When I was younger I was absolutely convinced that what I really wanted to do with my life was buy a big chunk of woodland, build a log cabin and live there. I would grow or catch or hunt my own food, sew my own clothes and wash them in a stream. I would learn pottery, and make my own dishes and bowls. I would learn grass-weaving, and weave my own baskets. And I would carve animals out of wood and sell them, and the baskets, and the pottery, and any extra vegetables from my garden for money to buy books and lamp oil and cloth, those being the only things I would not make for myself.

And maybe it was a foolish dream, possible perhaps in the time of Thoreau, but impractical in our own time, as so many people have reminded me. I think perhaps the reason I have avoided reading Walden until this is because I knew it would rekindle that dream in me. And it has. I long for the woods, for solitude. I long to take what nature has given and shape it in my hands to something useful, no matter how simple. There is a satisfaction in the fashioning of a clay bowl or a wooden pipe that far exceeds the satisfaction of money earned or goods bought, or even of books read.

And so I sit here at my underground desk in the claustrophobic library, with the garish neon lights and the mechanical sounds of the elevator and the photocopier and the students at the computers typing. And I slouch under the weight of the building above me, of my own regrets, and of the knowledge that were I to die now, I would indeed discover that I had not lived.

Comments

[juuro.livejournal.com]

It is impractical, but we need dreams. Keep dreaming.

My job is called system engineering. Modern.

I bought a house on four-ish acres of land. I am slowly rebuilding it with my own hands. Modern materials, though, store-bought. But satisfying. And the house has most of the modern conveniences.

Our family has a lakeside cottage. No electricity, no running water. Plenty of fish in the lake, plenty of berry in the woods around. To spend a week there is very satisfying.

Not the Thoreuan life, but enough to shake me a little closer to real life to withstand the modern environment again.

[gwynraven.livejournal.com]

My aunt has such a place in West Virginia. I used to go there with her a lot, and it was wonderful. Unfortunately now I live too far away, and there's bad blood between my mother and my aunt, so if I were to travel up there to visit my aunt my mother would feel insulted. Basically it's just a nasty situation all around, although my aunt has promised to leave me the house and the land in her will, so at least I should have it to retire to.