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Oct. 19th, 2007
Daily post
Oct. 19th, 2007 09:22 amSleep: 9pm to 11pm, 1am to 5am
Pain: 9
Weather: clear, 71F, 56% humidity, high 83F
Daily BPAL: JOHNATHAN HARKER
Daily Tarot: The Fool: The subject of the reading is a dreamer, a mystic. S/he has the desire to accomplish a great goal. S/he must be careful to make the right choice.
Reading:
The Great Deluge: Hurricane Katrina, New Orleans, and the Mississippi Gulf Coast by Douglas Brinkley
Another Country by James Baldwin
Swordspoint by Ellen Kushner
Voice of Crow by Jeri Smith-Ready
The Virtual Reference Handbook: Interview and Information Delivery Techniques for Chat and Email Environments by Diane K. Kovacs
The Changeling (Sweep #8) by Cate Tiernan
Pain: 9
Weather: clear, 71F, 56% humidity, high 83F
Daily BPAL: JOHNATHAN HARKER
Daily Tarot: The Fool: The subject of the reading is a dreamer, a mystic. S/he has the desire to accomplish a great goal. S/he must be careful to make the right choice.
Reading:
The Great Deluge: Hurricane Katrina, New Orleans, and the Mississippi Gulf Coast by Douglas Brinkley
Another Country by James Baldwin
Swordspoint by Ellen Kushner
Voice of Crow by Jeri Smith-Ready
The Virtual Reference Handbook: Interview and Information Delivery Techniques for Chat and Email Environments by Diane K. Kovacs
The Changeling (Sweep #8) by Cate Tiernan
(no subject)
Oct. 19th, 2007 09:29 amPain, I've discovered, has the effect of turning one into a child. Lying in bed, in the middle of the night, with my leg a mass of tense burning muscle periodically wracked with sharp, piercing spasms of pain, I have found myself punching the pillow in frustration like a child having a temper tantrum (the only reason I didn't kick the mattress is because it would have made my leg hurt worse). This week has been particularly bad.
I have already talked to several neurosurgeons and made my decision. I will be having the surgery, probably in late January or February. If all goes well, I will be in the hospital only a few days, out of work for about 2-3 weeks, and about 6 weeks for a full recovery. Unfortunately, I have been warned that even removing the tumor is no guarantee of relief from pain. The only thing that is guaranteed is that removing the tumor will prevent it from getting bigger and causing more pain. But the pain I already have may have simply become habitual for the nerve, and continue even after the root cause is removed.
I'm trying not to get my hopes up. And I'm trying not to freak out about the idea of the surgery. I *hate* the idea of surgery. I'm not exaggerating when I say that I get panic attacks when I have to go into the hospital. At my next appointment it is something I really need to bring up with the doctor, because there is every likelihood that they will need to pump me full of Valium just to keep me in the hospital bed. Last time I was in the hospital for my gastroenteritus, I had to sit on my hands to keep myself from tearing out the IV.
I'll keep y'all updated as the surgery gets closer.
I have already talked to several neurosurgeons and made my decision. I will be having the surgery, probably in late January or February. If all goes well, I will be in the hospital only a few days, out of work for about 2-3 weeks, and about 6 weeks for a full recovery. Unfortunately, I have been warned that even removing the tumor is no guarantee of relief from pain. The only thing that is guaranteed is that removing the tumor will prevent it from getting bigger and causing more pain. But the pain I already have may have simply become habitual for the nerve, and continue even after the root cause is removed.
I'm trying not to get my hopes up. And I'm trying not to freak out about the idea of the surgery. I *hate* the idea of surgery. I'm not exaggerating when I say that I get panic attacks when I have to go into the hospital. At my next appointment it is something I really need to bring up with the doctor, because there is every likelihood that they will need to pump me full of Valium just to keep me in the hospital bed. Last time I was in the hospital for my gastroenteritus, I had to sit on my hands to keep myself from tearing out the IV.
I'll keep y'all updated as the surgery gets closer.